He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
