toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
even my farts smell like vagina
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
