I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize