lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
