If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
