why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
