i permit you to call me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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