Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
