I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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