Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
