i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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