they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Bring me that man meat
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