This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
People in love make me want to vomit
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
