she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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