got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
