her vagine was all disorganized.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
