Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
