with your own penis?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
