i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
