oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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