hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
