was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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