What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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