Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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