I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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