i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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