we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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