tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
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