Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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