yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
