I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
