i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
