Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
