Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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