Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize