Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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