and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
