peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
