I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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