I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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