That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
