u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
