We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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