Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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