i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
