I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
