Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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