You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
