A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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