Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
