Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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