Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We left the knife in your bed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize