i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize