If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
