seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
