Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
