please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
