every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
