sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have fence marks all over my body
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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