It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
