i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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